Conviction

Recently, I felt quite convicted by a priest at a Frassati meeting in Carmel.

Conviction can be a bear. When it hits, I feel one of two ways:
(1) Youch.
(2) Watch out, world!

This time, #2 was the winner (thank goodness). Father challenged us in two ways. First, he asked us how we spend our free time. How do I spend it? Well, not in a way that is always furthering my walk with the Lord, encouraging new relationships, strengthening cherished ones, getting into the Word and adoration, etc. Watching TV, surfing the web, and an occasional nap are my hobbies lately.

The second challenge goes hand-in-hand with the first. He challenged us (quite forcefully) to pursue our vocations. Are we called to holy orders (convent/nun, seminary/priesthood), marriage, or single life? Are we pursuing the knowledge to answer that question honestly? When we know, are we making every effort to make that happen?

Now, I have to say, if I felt called to be a nun (which, at one point, I though I was), I would up and join today. That seems like an easy one to pursue. But, marriage! Seriously? I examined how to "pursue" marriage without being too forceful myself.

For me, it boiled down to how I spend my free time. Am I spending my free time seeking the Lord's Kingdom in such a way that I can ask and receive with full belief that my prayer will be answered? Am I making myself available by joining groups that will allow me to meet good, solid, Catholic men? How am I portrayed at these meetings; as a woman of faith?

All great questions for anyone - not just Catholics. This particular conviction will be one that sticks. Fortunately, I feel motivated and called to a major change in my life.

Watch out, world...